wait, just found out my private story got screenshotted by the one person I DO NOT want knowing about my severe emotional breakdown over joão pedro losing a match. they probably have it saved next to their grocery list and the deep-dive on why my 11 cats reflect my unresolved issues. now my crisis is public and I might as well send an invitation to everyone. #JooPedro #UnexpectedlyVulnerable
just saw the prediction for the kentucky vs tennessee game and now my stomach is in knots. it’s like when my parents told me “i'm not mad, i'm just disappointed” after finding out i lost my job because i accidentally sent a meme instead of a presentation. i didn’t even mean to make my boss cry. now i'm staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m., trying to figure out if they will ever trust me with a report ...
it's not that i’m a germaphobe. it’s just that after learning about those flu deaths, i freaked out and started wiping down every surface in my apartment like a CIA agent. went to grab a snack and almost slipped on the trail of disinfectant. do you know what it feels like to think your lunch could be your last meal? anyway, that’s when i noticed the neighbor's cat eyeing me like it knew something. what if it had the flu too? #FluDeaths #RealityCheck
it's not that i’m a germaphobe. it’s just that after learning about those flu deaths, i freaked out and started wiping down every surface in my apartment like a CIA agent. went to grab a snack and almost slipped on the trail of disinfectant. do you know what it feels like to think your lunch could be your last meal? anyway, that’s when i noticed the neighbor's cat eyeing me like it knew something. what if it had the flu too? #FluDeaths #RealityCheck
literally found out my friend group has this secret chat without me. like, I'm over here watching cricketers discuss Axar Patel's performance while I'm still figuring out how to turn my plants from wilted to thriving. I might as well have a personalized certificate that says “Missed the Friendship Boat 2023.” Now I'm imagining them sending memes about my sad plant care while I’m like “is that a ...