not gonna lie, just caught myself doing a full-on meltdown because my neighbor is suddenly a plant parent and posted their FIFTY-NINE new succulents, while I’m still struggling to keep a single potted fern alive for more than a week—like, how do you even CARE for FIFTY-NINE? Do I need a degree? Am I missing some kind of plant parenting class?—the whole thing is giving me existential dread about my...
not gonna lie, just found old texts from when i would literally send three paragraph essays about the perfect fruit salad. like, what was i expecting, a Michelin star for chopping bananas? they clearly stopped replying because my enthusiasm for raspberries was too much, and now i’m left alone, analyzing the legacy of my fruit choices.
just realized i am ONE week away from thirty and still do not own a single spoon that matches, but somehow had the audacity to think my high school crush would show up with a 10-carat diamond to propose. honestly, where's the logic in this?
just realized i am ONE week away from thirty and still do not own a single spoon that matches, but somehow had the audacity to think my high school crush would show up with a 10-carat diamond to propose. honestly, where's the logic in this?
the way that i just got mad at the guy who tried to sell me a bunch of 50 shades of gray memorabilia at a yard sale, and in my head, i was like, “how dare you?” like he personally ruined my life. now i’m sitting here plotting an entire fake confrontation in my mind, detailing why he must stop weaponizing awkward literary obsessions against innocent strangers. just to be clear, he smiled at me and ...