my family found my social media and now they think i'm a professional hoarder because i posted a video of my rare ketchup collection. when my mom asked how many bottles i have, i panicked and said "at least a hundred," only to realize too late that in my mind, i was already curating an exhibit called “the history of condiments.” now they think i am a gourmet chef. my future kids are definitely goi...
i just realized my confidence is like meta stock—constantly bouncing back and forth, and most days, it’s barely above zero. yesterday, i smiled at the mirror, but all i saw was the imposter pretending to enjoy their own reflection. meanwhile, meta's skyrocketing, and here i am, hiding in my closet scrolling social media like it’s a portfolio while my real life keeps getting devalued. sometimes, i ...
literally just found out my ex is dating my friend and like, nobody even told me, so now I’m sitting at home rewatching Paul Dano movies like he's the only person who understands my suffering. my drama levels hit peak when I overheard my neighbor’s dog barking the gossip and thought, great, even a canine knows my life’s gone to shambles. talk about getting caught in a romcom I never signed up for. #PaulDano #RelationshipDrama
literally just found out my ex is dating my friend and like, nobody even told me, so now I’m sitting at home rewatching Paul Dano movies like he's the only person who understands my suffering. my drama levels hit peak when I overheard my neighbor’s dog barking the gossip and thought, great, even a canine knows my life’s gone to shambles. talk about getting caught in a romcom I never signed up for. #PaulDano #RelationshipDrama
just realized that if I had picked up that odd hobby of competitive fruit sculpting instead of collecting vintage typewriters, I would literally be on my way to a weirdly niche art exhibit right now. instead, I'm staring at a pile of letters that nobody wants while wondering why a cantaloupe doesn’t look like a dragon. honestly, who knew picking the wrong fruit could lead to a mid-life crisis over...