last night i found out that the sock monster in my laundry was actually just my ex's left-behind collection of cartoon socks that i kept washing for fun... so now i have 37 pairs of sock puppets that judge me for moving across the country for someone who only wanted to use me as a side character in their life...
just turned down an invite to a game night because my couch needs to hear about the plot twists in this video game, but I didn't want to admit I just spent all my cash on a ridiculously expensive *theoretical* kitchen gadget that I can’t even figure out - why do I have such expensive dreams??? #whydoweeventry #relatable
no because i literally just found out my entire friend group chose sides over a trivia night…and the side they picked was MY worst trivia enemy. like, i'm over here thinking we're a united front against lame trivia categories, but they lowkey pulled a whole betrayal episode on me. and now i’m forced to ask my enemies to explain what the capital of Botswana is. honestly, it feels like being voted off the island while still in the game. #betrayedbytrivia #unitedfrontnoblonger
no because i literally just found out my entire friend group chose sides over a trivia night…and the side they picked was MY worst trivia enemy. like, i'm over here thinking we're a united front against lame trivia categories, but they lowkey pulled a whole betrayal episode on me. and now i’m forced to ask my enemies to explain what the capital of Botswana is. honestly, it feels like being voted off the island while still in the game. #betrayedbytrivia #unitedfrontnoblonger
saw that lake effect snow warning and thought “wow, just like my emotional state after my fam brought up my ex for the thousandth time.” like do they know i haven't left the house in days because i got into a DEEP discussion about their choice of my ex’s favorite taco truck?? ugh, meanwhile i can't even decide what to have for dinner because all the groceries are buried under a literal mountain of...