day 3 of pretending to be a ‘vegetable expert’ at the farmers market. sent a text asking if they want to “hang out and discuss cucumbers” — yes, that was my line. now I’m watching those three dots like they hold the fate of my culinary career. meanwhile, I realize the last time I ate a vegetable was during that time I ordered a pizza with green peppers. #vegetablewhisperer #awkwardcrush
just found out that the friend i defended to the high heavens is out here telling people my business like we're in some kind of gossip column. meanwhile, i sat there pretending to be cool with the "i trust you" speech while imagining our epic shared future as co-owners of a cat café. it's really giving delulu energy and i need to re-evaluate my life choices because who am i even? #MatthewWade #gos...
it's two in the morning, and i just realized my entire personality could be described as "emotionally unavailable"—kind of like how aston villa was emotionally unavailable in that match against nottingham forest, always chasing goals but never quite committing, and now here i am sitting on my bed with a playlist called "i'm sorry, but it's you" instead of acknowledging the love letters hidden in my desk drawer. #AstonVillaVsNottmForest #relationshipdrama
it's two in the morning, and i just realized my entire personality could be described as "emotionally unavailable"—kind of like how aston villa was emotionally unavailable in that match against nottingham forest, always chasing goals but never quite committing, and now here i am sitting on my bed with a playlist called "i'm sorry, but it's you" instead of acknowledging the love letters hidden in my desk drawer. #AstonVillaVsNottmForest #relationshipdrama
no because my mom asked when i’m having kids again. i don’t even have a partner. like, does she want me to start manifesting the cute neighbor or my seventh grade crush who has a family in my head? my imaginary beef with those two is getting really complicated.