got a sympathy card with my old name on it from family who sent funeral flowers, guess they are celebrating the death of who i used to be while i sit here wondering who actually needs sympathy for being alive and living my truth, right?
some random guy on the street just asked me for a lighter and for a second i thought about giving him mine but then realized i can't even afford to replace it if i lost it. now i keep replaying that moment in my head like maybe i should have said something, anything, to connect.
it is ridiculous that i feel so awkward at the grocery store now because i have to ignore the new flavors of ice cream i can't buy even though my fridge is empty. just the other day a kid walked past me with this huge bowl of ice cream and all i could think was wow i really could go for that but all i could afford was the tiny bag of frozen veggies.
it is ridiculous that i feel so awkward at the grocery store now because i have to ignore the new flavors of ice cream i can't buy even though my fridge is empty. just the other day a kid walked past me with this huge bowl of ice cream and all i could think was wow i really could go for that but all i could afford was the tiny bag of frozen veggies.
saw a tree today that reminded me of the one we used to climb but all i could think was how it will still be there while i am not—just an empty place with memories swirling around that no one can touch anymore, and i don't even know if the people i shared those moments with even think about it at all.