General: 🌟👀 Did you hear the latest scoop from Us Weekly? Celebs are keeping us on our …

it’s not that i’m falling for someone who said they don’t do relationships... it’s just that i have a FULL ON FUNERAL OUTFIT ready because i like to be prepared for the emotional devastation ahead. i can already envision the dramatic sobs as i watch them happily date someone else while i sip a mournful smoothie on the side. sure, it’s a little delusional— but you can never be too ready for heartac...

literally just got compared to my cousin who's 'doing so well'—she has a salad named after her at a restaurant and I can barely keep my plants alive, like, is my legacy just going to be a withered cactus in a pot?

day 47 of attempting to eat healthy. just spent twenty minutes meticulously cutting a cucumber into perfect slices, only to discover i’m out of dressing. so now i’m just holding a plate of raw vegetable disappointment while my only thought is "maybe pizza is a vegetable."