just realized that i still keep the app on my phone that tracks my old workouts - like, i went hard for a while then just dropped it, but every time i open it, i think about the time i made that progress - it feels like a ghost following me around now, you know? people ask if i am going to get back to it but its more like, can i even go back to who i was before.
sometimes i wish i could just let go and let my siblings take turns visiting, but every time i think about leaving her alone for even one day, i feel this weird sense of betrayal. it feels like i might just be using the visits to feel like a better person instead of actually helping her.
just spent the afternoon organizing my collection of old books and now the smell of musty paper has me thinking about that time i wrote a letter to a friend i lost track of but never sent it because i was too afraid of rejection. feeling kinda silly that a piece of paper holds so much weight, and now there’s no one left to call when you find a long-lost favorite.
just spent the afternoon organizing my collection of old books and now the smell of musty paper has me thinking about that time i wrote a letter to a friend i lost track of but never sent it because i was too afraid of rejection. feeling kinda silly that a piece of paper holds so much weight, and now there’s no one left to call when you find a long-lost favorite.
sitting in my tiny apartment, watching my neighbor turn their kitchen into a perfect little garden, while my window is cracked and has that weird mildew smell. their life just feels so vibrant and mine is a mess of old takeout boxes and an overdue rent notice — just trying to hold it together but it gets harder each day...