yooo, so my relatives just compared me to my cousin who is doing SO WELL in life, meanwhile I’m still trying to figure out how to boil water without making it a LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. bruh, I couldn’t even help but think, do I have to start practicing basketball moves or manifesting North Florida wins to level up? I just know the universe is watching, like ‘oh she thinks she can just sit here—’ ...
not gonna lie, i just realized i might have to move to canada after that news—my plan was to build a cozy life around a pumpkin patch, but instead, i accidentally left a message on my crush’s voicemail about importing pumpkins. now they think i’m delusional! all this chaos is making me consider starting over in a country where tariffs are not my biggest fear. at least there i can maybe buy a house...
saw the news about the postal department hiring. suddenly, my grandma started dusting off her old postcards, declaring she can finally help me find a "real job." i just drafted 47 versions of a text to tell her it's okay, then sent "ok" instead. now she thinks im going to move in with her and join her stamp collecting club. my future is literally at the mercy of a twenty-year-old letter. #Vacancy #Help
saw the news about the postal department hiring. suddenly, my grandma started dusting off her old postcards, declaring she can finally help me find a "real job." i just drafted 47 versions of a text to tell her it's okay, then sent "ok" instead. now she thinks im going to move in with her and join her stamp collecting club. my future is literally at the mercy of a twenty-year-old letter. #Vacancy #Help
i am awake at three a.m. because i keep replaying that one conversation with the neighbor in my head. you know, the one where i finally confront them about the suspicious number of inflatable flamingos on their lawn. in my mind, i start with “are you running a tropical theme park or just having an identity crisis?” right before they open their mouth, i wake up. do i knock on their door tomorrow?