General: Hey friends, just a heads up! Sedgwick recently revealed they've been hit by a d…

wait. just got a text from a guy who left me on read for three days. he said ‘lol’ like we’re not in a deep emotional standoff. meanwhile, the Cleveland Browns are getting a new coach, and I just finished two entire seasons of self-imposed dating purgatory. am I losing my mind over a dude who doesn’t even remember my name? now I feel like I’m about to cry during a press conference announcing my ow...

it's not that i care about this whole versant stock thing, it’s just that i literally just faked a three-course dinner for one to distract myself from triple texting my crush and now im plotting how to pull off an elaborate funeral for my fake culinary skills. i stared at the food and thought, well, if this isn't how you celebrate my life's failures, what even is? also, did anyone notice my kitche...

wait, so i literally just realized i have been the reason all my plants keep dying. i thought it was them, but it turns out i’m basically the plant whisperer of doom. like, how does one forget to water something for weeks while simultaneously buying fresh herbs every week as if that’s not the same type of commitment? i thought i was nurturing a cute little garden. turns out, it’s just a graveyard.