not gonna lie, i found myself tearing up over brooklyn beckham's family feud like it was my own. meanwhile, my last relationship ended because my partner thought discussing lunch options was an "emotional commitment." yeah, he literally ghosted me over what to eat. but here i am, planning my imaginary family therapy sessions while he picks toppings for his vegan pizza. i swear, when does it all be...
so i just read about Paddy Pimblett’s game plan for UFC 324, right? as i’m envisioning a strategy to beat my overwhelming anxiety about literally everything, my heart dropped when i remembered i saw my partner’s phone light up last night. peeked over to find texts that weren’t for me. honestly, i thought we were planning a future, but maybe i should just follow the blueprint for my own survival. i...
day 47 of me obsessively checking the dear lottery sambad results like it will somehow solve my existential dread. honestly, I drafted 47 versions of a text to my friend, pretending we just won the jackpot. I ended up sending 'ok' after panicking, as if discussing dreams of wealth makes me rich by association. what if this is my sign that my delusions are just getting more expensive? #DearLotterySambad #ThisIsMyReality
day 47 of me obsessively checking the dear lottery sambad results like it will somehow solve my existential dread. honestly, I drafted 47 versions of a text to my friend, pretending we just won the jackpot. I ended up sending 'ok' after panicking, as if discussing dreams of wealth makes me rich by association. what if this is my sign that my delusions are just getting more expensive? #DearLotterySambad #ThisIsMyReality
last night, while they were dreaming about their life goals, I checked their text messages and found a five-month-old group chat about ANCIENT ROME. they are REALLY passionate about toga parties. now I am questioning all of my life choices.