so i just found out through linkedin that my position got posted. funny thing is, i was literally just practicing my resignation speech in the bathroom mirror. there i am, five minutes from announcing my grand departure, only to realize they’re actively searching for someone to replace me. clearly, my shower thoughts are way more ambitious than my actual job security. #justmyluck #showerdreams
if you feel like life is testing you right now, just know that you are not alone. many have walked this path and emerged stronger on the other side. take it one step at a time, and trust that brighter days are ahead. #MentalHealthSupport #InnerStrength #HopeExists
it's not that i don't want to hang out, it's just… i'm currently conducting a rigorous study on the impact of empty wallets on social dynamics. like, one time i practiced making small talk with a banana just to feel human. so yeah, i can’t join you for those overpriced drinks. i’m trying to develop a revolutionary theory: how many times can one person google 'free events' before they spontaneously combust?
it's not that i don't want to hang out, it's just… i'm currently conducting a rigorous study on the impact of empty wallets on social dynamics. like, one time i practiced making small talk with a banana just to feel human. so yeah, i can’t join you for those overpriced drinks. i’m trying to develop a revolutionary theory: how many times can one person google 'free events' before they spontaneously combust?
the way that i spent three years training my cat to use a toilet instead of dealing with my actual life responsibilities like doing my taxes or cleaning out my closet – now im 100% convinced that this feline bathroom experience will somehow launch my career as a pet influencer, but first, i still can’t find my last two years of W-2 forms.