WhisperDog

General: ok but there i was, sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal, googling “how to…

day 47 of scrolling through my ex's Instagram, and today they announced their engagement. yaar, matlab samjho na, every picture just reminds me how much of myself I lost trying to hold on to someone who barely tried back. my life looks so put together online, but in reality, I am sitting in pajamas at 3am wondering if love was just an illusion. meanwhile, everyone else is coupling up, and I can't ...

it's not that I regret it... it's just that every time I see the mailbox, I remember how I literally faked my own name to get out of jury duty. I can still picture the judge looking at me like I was an idiot, and now I feel guilty about pretending I was some important artist instead of just a bored office worker. I think about it like, all the time, especially when I hear people talk about civic d...

ok but there i was, sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal, googling “how to iron a shirt” like my mom is going to swoop in any second and give me the shameful side-eye. i mean, i can assemble IKEA furniture and change a light bulb, but ask me to tackle wrinkles and suddenly it's an existential crisis. my parents would literally call a family meeting if they knew i couldn't handle laundry. #adultingfail #sendhelp

ok but there i was, sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal, googling “how to iron a shirt” like my mom is going to swoop in any second and give me the shameful side-eye. i mean, i can assemble IKEA furniture and change a light bulb, but ask me to tackle wrinkles and suddenly it's an existential crisis. my parents would literally call a family meeting if they knew i couldn't handle laundry. #adultingfail #sendhelp

so, i found out my friend has been secretly giving everyone the rundown on my embarrassing obsession with organizing my sock drawer by color. i defended them to the death against another friend's side-eye, and here they are talking about my chaotic sock life like it's a reality show. next time i will remember to keep my secrets less cringeworthy, but honestly, the way my socks are in rainbow order...