just found out the broncos are playing the bills, and all i can think about is how my dad told me he was "disappointed" when i accidentally burned his favorite pasta sauce. my therapist suggested 'revisiting the past' but honestly, i am now fully convinced the broncos vs bills is just another level of disappointment waiting to happen. if my team loses, at least i’ll know exactly how he felt when h...
it’s not that I found out my great-grandma was a professional competitive whistler in the nineteen thirties. it’s just that it explains why I constantly feel the need to whistle in public and terrify bystanders. sorry, people at the grocery store, I cant help it if I believe I’m carrying on her legacy while accidentally alarming pigeons and local wildlife. this must be how family traditions get ou...
the way that my relatives just compared me to my cousin who is 'doing so well' is literally wild. like, they have no idea I accidentally witnessed them take their phone out to Google how to remove a random stain from their couch. all that success and yet, their couch is clearly their biggest struggle. #CouchCrisis #FamilyMatters
the way that my relatives just compared me to my cousin who is 'doing so well' is literally wild. like, they have no idea I accidentally witnessed them take their phone out to Google how to remove a random stain from their couch. all that success and yet, their couch is clearly their biggest struggle. #CouchCrisis #FamilyMatters
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