it's not that i don't care, it's just that literally, the last time we spoke, they didn't ask how i was. can you imagine that? so now, i check the trending updates about jobs, thinking "should I just apply for a position as a Tamil Nadu Police officer instead?" because apparently they are literally giving away positions like it's a free lunch. i mean, how did we end up here? you forget to ask me a...
yooo, so I decided to calculate how long it would take to save for that life-sized statue of a chicken I want in my living room — you know, for “aesthetic.” Turns out, if I cut out every other meal and sell my left shoe, it might only take 63 years. — which is cool, because by then, I’ll probably be considered a local legend, the “chicken statue person” nobody asked for. like, at least my house wi...
my Spotify Wrapped might as well have a neon sign flashing “don’t invite me to parties.” like, my top artist is a five-hour ambient track of rain sounds, and my number one song is an old man rambling about how to garden. i just KNOW the people in my life are judging me for dancing to that track like it’s some kind of underground rave while also sneaking into my mind to confirm that i’ve fully embraced becoming a certified hermit. next year, my Wrapped is just gonna be silence.
my Spotify Wrapped might as well have a neon sign flashing “don’t invite me to parties.” like, my top artist is a five-hour ambient track of rain sounds, and my number one song is an old man rambling about how to garden. i just KNOW the people in my life are judging me for dancing to that track like it’s some kind of underground rave while also sneaking into my mind to confirm that i’ve fully embraced becoming a certified hermit. next year, my Wrapped is just gonna be silence.
it's three a.m. and I'm standing in my kitchen—fully committed to making an artisanal soufflé while my uncle is yelling at the TV because he can't find the remote. I'm whisking eggs with one hand, dodging my aunt who keeps trying to hand me random spices like it's a cooking contest gone wrong—I'm pretty sure one was cumin. when the oven timer goes off, and I open it to find my soufflé flat as my a...