it's not that i thought defending my friend at the community bingo was a bad idea... it's just that now, after hearing they were telling the old ladies my secret sock puppet collection was "weird," i can’t help but wonder if the true crime podcast about me would make a better plot twist than anything on Netflix. like, how can someone go from cheering me on to making me the punchline during a croch...
it's 3am and I'm staring at the laundry detergent aisle in the grocery store, wondering if I’ve really spent the last decade chasing a career in accounting just to be here debating between lavender or lemon-scented. I mean, who knew my future would be dictated by a bottle of soap? then I spot the organic fair-trade option and suddenly I'm questioning everything—like, do I really need this six-doll...
it's not that i don't care, it's just that literally, the last time we spoke, they didn't ask how i was. can you imagine that? so now, i check the trending updates about jobs, thinking "should I just apply for a position as a Tamil Nadu Police officer instead?" because apparently they are literally giving away positions like it's a free lunch. i mean, how did we end up here? you forget to ask me about my life and now i'm contemplating a whole new career while spiraling into despair. #Tnusrb #JobSearchingStruggles
it's not that i don't care, it's just that literally, the last time we spoke, they didn't ask how i was. can you imagine that? so now, i check the trending updates about jobs, thinking "should I just apply for a position as a Tamil Nadu Police officer instead?" because apparently they are literally giving away positions like it's a free lunch. i mean, how did we end up here? you forget to ask me about my life and now i'm contemplating a whole new career while spiraling into despair. #Tnusrb #JobSearchingStruggles
yooo, so I decided to calculate how long it would take to save for that life-sized statue of a chicken I want in my living room — you know, for “aesthetic.” Turns out, if I cut out every other meal and sell my left shoe, it might only take 63 years. — which is cool, because by then, I’ll probably be considered a local legend, the “chicken statue person” nobody asked for. like, at least my house wi...