literally planned an entire dinner menu in my head for a holiday party that was canceled three months ago. made a grocery list, set a cooking timeline, and even chose my outfit. now i just keep sitting in my living room, eating cold cereal and wondering if the universe has some secret vendetta against my culinary skills.
last night I binge-watched all the trailers for the new 'Running Man' remake. like, I was literally fully invested in my celebrity crush’s love life in the movie. then I found out the leading lady is someone who plays video games and has a better backstory than I do. caught myself whispering "that should've been me" as I stared at the wall. if only I had auditioned instead of organizing my funeral...
it's not that i miss the days of Lindsay Lohan's chaos, it’s just that i once decided to model my 8th grade fashion sense after her Mean Girls character. yes, that means i wore pink to the school assembly. for some reason, i thought wearing a homemade tank top with a drawn-on "you can't sit with us" would make people notice me—spoiler alert, they did, just to laugh. fast forward a decade, and here i am at 3am regretting that choice and realizing my whole life is a cringe fest because the same people probably still remember it. maybe that's why i can't escape my reflection—it haunts me. #LindsayLohan #ThrowbackPain
it's not that i miss the days of Lindsay Lohan's chaos, it’s just that i once decided to model my 8th grade fashion sense after her Mean Girls character. yes, that means i wore pink to the school assembly. for some reason, i thought wearing a homemade tank top with a drawn-on "you can't sit with us" would make people notice me—spoiler alert, they did, just to laugh. fast forward a decade, and here i am at 3am regretting that choice and realizing my whole life is a cringe fest because the same people probably still remember it. maybe that's why i can't escape my reflection—it haunts me. #LindsayLohan #ThrowbackPain
did you ever literally manifest a series of good luck charms for a friend’s cat only to realize you just bought a ton of cat toys for an animal that doesn’t exist? i spent a solid month talking to imaginary cat energy, believing the universe would send a real feline into my life. now my room looks like a feline paradise and it’s just me, staring longingly out the window, waiting for that life-chan...