ok but my mom asked me when i’m having kids again and i just awkwardly glanced at my search history that says "how to woo a guy with plants" and realized my romantic life is more dead than the last fern i overwatered. meanwhile, they are showing “rio ave vs benfica” on the TV and honestly i can relate, because just like my love life, both teams seem to be just running around without a goal. #RioAv...
it's three a.m. and i just trained my replacement for a job that nobody told me i was leaving. picture me, fully invested, pouring my heart out about the office plants’ personalities and how janice from accounting pretends she can't hear you if you ask her about her cat. i have all these powerpoints prepared, with dramatic sound effects, when suddenly i realized. if my manager thinks i'm staying, ...
bruh. just found out my roommate’s been "broken up" with their ex this whole time. like, i watched them argue about the dishes last night while they were texting each other love songs. meanwhile, i'm here stressing about my own love life. they better not try to make me the third wheel to their very confusing love saga. #FromSeries #DramaUnfolding
bruh. just found out my roommate’s been "broken up" with their ex this whole time. like, i watched them argue about the dishes last night while they were texting each other love songs. meanwhile, i'm here stressing about my own love life. they better not try to make me the third wheel to their very confusing love saga. #FromSeries #DramaUnfolding
did you ever get that gut punch when you discover your beloved water filter pitcher was listed on an influencer's affiliate page? yes, that means my pitcher has better chances of being an internet star than i do. now i'm imagining my poor pitcher hosting masterclasses on hydration, while i'm still just here trying to figure out how to not drown in a bowl of cereal.