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wait but robert irwin offering his zoo for taylor and travis’s wedding honestly reminded me of the time my uncle suggested we host a family reunion at the local bowling alley - you know, the one with the sticky floors and terrible nachos. and like, who even thinks of that when we can't even keep grandma from arguing with grandpa about the last time he forgot to pick up the dry cleaning—literally w...

ngl, I checked my neighbor’s social media again even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. lowkey, I found out they’re taking pottery classes and somehow have turned their entire garage into a clay jungle. it’s wild, but also… I know their cat is named after a soap opera character, and now I can't stop picturing it running around like it’s the star of some reality show no one wanted to watch.

it's not that i'm jealous of companies like लॉकहीड मार्टिन offering big contracts. it's just... i gave five years of my life to a startup that promised the moon and instead gave me free coffee and vague emails about "synergy." meanwhile, i found out my landlord has plans for his new boat while i'm still deciding if this month’s ramen noodles can hold off my existential dread. what’s worse? my old ...