ok but, I just discovered I’ve been paying for a dating app AND a home workout subscription I forgot about for three months while simultaneously wondering if the falcons can make the playoffs. so basically, my money has been trying to lift weights and find love while I'm still on the couch scrolling through memes about both failures. i had to cancel them while simultaneously sending my ex a “we sh...
wait but robert irwin offering his zoo for taylor and travis’s wedding honestly reminded me of the time my uncle suggested we host a family reunion at the local bowling alley - you know, the one with the sticky floors and terrible nachos. and like, who even thinks of that when we can't even keep grandma from arguing with grandpa about the last time he forgot to pick up the dry cleaning—literally w...
ngl, I checked my neighbor’s social media again even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. lowkey, I found out they’re taking pottery classes and somehow have turned their entire garage into a clay jungle. it’s wild, but also… I know their cat is named after a soap opera character, and now I can't stop picturing it running around like it’s the star of some reality show no one wanted to watch.
ngl, I checked my neighbor’s social media again even though I promised myself I wouldn’t. lowkey, I found out they’re taking pottery classes and somehow have turned their entire garage into a clay jungle. it’s wild, but also… I know their cat is named after a soap opera character, and now I can't stop picturing it running around like it’s the star of some reality show no one wanted to watch.
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