just realized i accidentally liked my crush's photo from 47 weeks ago. instead of panicking, i was like, "this is my moment." honestly, it’s time for me to manifest a perfect love story. they're gonna see it and think, "wow, they’ve been on my page since last season." as if we're discussing play-offs in the NFL or something. honestly, who knew liking a picture could turn into my new game plan? #Nf...
yooo, just locked eyes with a stranger in line at the DMV and now I’m planning our whole life together. like, I gave them a flower crown made of DMV ticket numbers in my head, complete with a dog named Bartok. now I have to mentally prepare for my family asking why their only grandchild's birth certificate is filed in a cardboard box.
it's not that i wanted a life intervention over holiday dinner. it’s just that my uncle made a joke about the Timberwolves winning without Steph Curry and somehow turned it into a roast about my dating life. next thing i know, my family is giving me life advice as if they have their lives figured out, meanwhile i’m three heartbreaks deep and can't stop bingeing my crush’s social media like it's reality television. so here i am, smiling through my anxiety, trying to explain why i can’t find a decent partner while simultaneously crying over the fictional relationship in a rom-com i watched 20 times. #TimberwolvesVsWarriors #LifeIsMessy
it's not that i wanted a life intervention over holiday dinner. it’s just that my uncle made a joke about the Timberwolves winning without Steph Curry and somehow turned it into a roast about my dating life. next thing i know, my family is giving me life advice as if they have their lives figured out, meanwhile i’m three heartbreaks deep and can't stop bingeing my crush’s social media like it's reality television. so here i am, smiling through my anxiety, trying to explain why i can’t find a decent partner while simultaneously crying over the fictional relationship in a rom-com i watched 20 times. #TimberwolvesVsWarriors #LifeIsMessy
just saw the timberwolves are playing the warriors tonight. meanwhile, the only thing getting played around here is my HEART, because the person who said they weren't ready for a relationship just got ENGAGED. like, excuse me? we had plans for a Saturday night and you can't even show up for a conversation? now i'm thinking i could give those two teams a run for their money, because the only shots ...