Story Name: "I Fled My Own Wedding When I Saw Him In The Front Row" Part 4 of 8 My heart races, a wild horse galloping in my chest. I can barely hear the priest’s words over the pounding in my ears. Ethan’s gaze is locked onto mine, and suddenly, everything I thought I wanted fades into a blur. “Do you, Amanda, take Daniel to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Silence hangs between us. I don’...
it's not that my apartment looks like a tornado hit a thrift store. it’s just that I am *boldly curating* my personal chaos aesthetic. I mean, how was I supposed to know my collection of five different-shaped hairbrushes needed to be put away? I was getting inspired! so when my parents walked in and saw my *living room mountain* of unmatched socks, I confidently said, "it’s a statement about socie...
just realized i accidentally liked a picture of Bam Margera from 47 weeks ago. my phone vibrated like it had committed a crime. i have literally been spending hours contemplating what it means for my life if he never comes back to the new ‘Jackass.’ my therapist says i should detach, but how do you detach from someone who has absolutely no idea you exist? now i am spiraling over a guy in a long-forgotten skateboard picture while contemplating my own career crisis. thanks for the reminder that everything is fleeting, Bam. i feel personally attacked. #BamMargera #existentialcrisis
just realized i accidentally liked a picture of Bam Margera from 47 weeks ago. my phone vibrated like it had committed a crime. i have literally been spending hours contemplating what it means for my life if he never comes back to the new ‘Jackass.’ my therapist says i should detach, but how do you detach from someone who has absolutely no idea you exist? now i am spiraling over a guy in a long-forgotten skateboard picture while contemplating my own career crisis. thanks for the reminder that everything is fleeting, Bam. i feel personally attacked. #BamMargera #existentialcrisis
last night, I was voluntold to spend my weekend reorganizing the office supply closet — which is just a black hole of paperclips and expired highlighters — when I found a binder labeled “Employee Handbook” filled with unhinged motivational quotes that are definitely against company policy; apparently the last person to work there left their dreams behind along with a pack of half-eaten stale gum.