yooo, so I told my friends I can't go out because I "have plans" this weekend. honestly, the plan is just me on my couch googling “how to manifest being rich” while holding a half-eaten bag of expired chips. meanwhile, I keep hearing about that Tom Homan drama and thinking... man, I should have just said I got a new pet turtle and I'm trying to teach it to moonwalk. I’m obviously lying to myself a...
wait, just found out my ex is dating my friend and it feels like i’ve been traded like a card in a Barca vs Madrid game—just one more transaction in the mess of this friendship roster. while they’re out there living their best lives, i’m here trying to budget for groceries like how can i afford to eat if this feels like a loss? and also, can someone explain why they had to reveal this in front of ...
ever just get into an all-out argument with your imaginary rival while organizing your bookshelf? like, i was rearranging my novels by color and this voice in my head starts telling me i have no taste. now, i am somehow convinced they are my nemesis and am ready to throw hands. it took me three hours to realize they are just a figment of my imagination and i need to chill over where the hardcover mysteries go.
ever just get into an all-out argument with your imaginary rival while organizing your bookshelf? like, i was rearranging my novels by color and this voice in my head starts telling me i have no taste. now, i am somehow convinced they are my nemesis and am ready to throw hands. it took me three hours to realize they are just a figment of my imagination and i need to chill over where the hardcover mysteries go.
i was just sitting there, thinking about how the latest pips nyt puzzle is driving me wild and then it hit me - my crush, the one with the cute glasses and perfect smile, told me they broke up last month. fast forward to now, scrolling through their stories like a complete detective, and—surprise, surprise—they’re on a sunset picnic with their ex who apparently NEVER left the picture. they’re just...