it's not that i want to wallow in despair, it’s just that every time i hear about the new playstation plus games, i imagine my console being the ultimate comfort as i curl up on the couch alone, living out scenarios where i'm the hero in my own epic battles, while deep down i'm actually still stuck in the same job with a never-ending email chain. life is less ace combat and more ace uncomfortable....
it's not that i meant to share the screenshot of the weird art piece with the giant potato wearing a monocle. it's just that, after getting a glimpse of it in the art exhibit, it was clearly too important to ignore. so here i am, sweating, watching my art-loving colleague receive it, while trying to explain it’s a joke. somehow, now i'm the potato in this situation, stuck in this awkward gallery o...
the way that i literally spent hours manifesting my long-lost friendship with the lady from the sandwich shop just to find out she had no clue who i was is wild. i even wore the same shirt i wore the day we met, like it was going to jog her memory. she looked at me like i was trying to sell her a timeshare. guess it turns out some friendships are meant to stay as toasted as my bread. #missedconnections #friendshipgoals
the way that i literally spent hours manifesting my long-lost friendship with the lady from the sandwich shop just to find out she had no clue who i was is wild. i even wore the same shirt i wore the day we met, like it was going to jog her memory. she looked at me like i was trying to sell her a timeshare. guess it turns out some friendships are meant to stay as toasted as my bread. #missedconnections #friendshipgoals
i thought waiting for the right moment to wear my full dinosaur costume to the grocery store would be a fantastic idea, until i realized my life was the punchline, and now the only people taking me seriously are the kids staring at me in awe while the adults avoid eye contact like i’m a walking midlife crisis—can someone explain why the twenty dollar outfit felt so appropriate until i caught a ref...