General: Exciting news from Elon University! 🎉 Avery Sloan ’25 has received a grant from…

yooo so ngl i was just thinking about finally moving to that place i’ve had my eye on forever, like who wouldn’t want a cute little studio to escape my roommate’s love for conspiracy theories, and then the news drops about this earthquake like i’m trying to take a step forward and the universe is like “surprise, go back to your parent’s basement,” and honestly i just realized i waited too long and...

i’m supposed to mentor this intern, but i can’t even keep my own plants alive... like how am i giving advice on career paths when i still get lost going to the grocery store? i mean, are we even sure they want me as their mentor? maybe this is just an elaborate joke...

it’s not that i’m delusional about my situationship—it's just that when they casually introduced me to someone as "a friend" while i stood there wearing matching t-shirts that read "we're basically dating," i thought it was one of those "financial bubbles" but like instead of my savings tanking, my dignity went bankrupt faster than my last impulse buy—oh and let's not forget i overheard “this is m...