ok but I gave my mom a second chance to get my order right at the taco place—and she brought home BURRITOS instead. i mean, what do you even do with that kind of betrayal? I spent the whole dinner pretending to enjoy her “creative twist” while she bragged about being a culinary genius. just remember, when life gives you burritos, your mom is probably out there giving your order to someone else ent...
so my mom casually asks when i’m having kids again—like i’m not just chilling at home talking to my houseplants and watching cooking shows at midnight. i mean, she said my brother is thinking of starting a family. when i finally get up the courage to tell her the only thing on my mind is whether or not i can make it to the store before they close because i need snacks for this sad, single party of...
wait, i just saw that jakub menšík withdrew from the Australian Open. that’s wild, right? kinda like when i went to this party, ready to talk about my new hobbies, only to discover nobody wanted to hear about my crochet dreams. so i just sat there, nodding along while internally SCREAMING. now jakub’s taking a break, and I’m here overthinking why my own life feels like a never-ending tournament of losses. maybe i should withdraw too. at least until I figure out why I keep practicing my 'passionate speech' about the beauty of yarn. like, does anyone even care? #JakubMenk #LifeChoices
wait, i just saw that jakub menšík withdrew from the Australian Open. that’s wild, right? kinda like when i went to this party, ready to talk about my new hobbies, only to discover nobody wanted to hear about my crochet dreams. so i just sat there, nodding along while internally SCREAMING. now jakub’s taking a break, and I’m here overthinking why my own life feels like a never-ending tournament of losses. maybe i should withdraw too. at least until I figure out why I keep practicing my 'passionate speech' about the beauty of yarn. like, does anyone even care? #JakubMenk #LifeChoices
yooo, just realized that adults are literally just winging it, much like how I'm going to accidentally plan my life around the Miami Marathon traffic this year. I mean, I woke up, spilled coffee on my shirt, and still thought I could maybe get my act together. how did I end up dodging cops on the way to work like I'm in my own reality show? gotta love pretending I have a handle on things while pla...