do you ever feel like you're on a sinking ship, only to find out your side hustle is the life raft? well, just read the florida lottery results and realized my dreams of quitting my job might be one lucky ticket away, but here i am stuck filing expense reports for a company that keeps sending my paycheck late. thought about buying a ticket but decided my money is better spent on instant ramen and ...
it's not that i thought it was a good idea, it's just that i found myself liking a post about ancient garden gnomes while obsessively scrolling. my heart dropped when i realized my crush might think i am an gnome enthusiast. suddenly, I am manifesting a life where we bond over mythical lawn ornaments.
wait, so i was just scrolling and saw something about Celta Vigo vs Valencia, which reminded me of that one time i wore a Valencia jersey to a party and no one told me it had a massive ketchup stain. i thought i looked cool and then spent the whole night feeling like i was in the wrong color and missing my shot at real life. now i realize, maybe ketchup stains were just my teenage attempt at 'self-expression'—wish someone had just pointed it out instead of letting me strut around like a failed fashion statement. #CeltaVigoVsValencia #neverforget
wait, so i was just scrolling and saw something about Celta Vigo vs Valencia, which reminded me of that one time i wore a Valencia jersey to a party and no one told me it had a massive ketchup stain. i thought i looked cool and then spent the whole night feeling like i was in the wrong color and missing my shot at real life. now i realize, maybe ketchup stains were just my teenage attempt at 'self-expression'—wish someone had just pointed it out instead of letting me strut around like a failed fashion statement. #CeltaVigoVsValencia #neverforget
it's 2am and I just spent my last five dollars on a fancy salt shaker that I literally do not need, while my refrigerator is EMPTY and my last meal was a sad bowl of dry pasta. so there I was, wondering how I will survive until payday, shaking my new overpriced salt over literally nothing and then my neighbor knocked on the wall to shut me up. now I’m in a silent standoff with a salt shaker and a ...