just found out my friends think i secretly dress like a renaissance fair character during video game marathons — they didn’t even hesitate when the topic came up. apparently, my love for cloaks and capes is a dead giveaway. now, every time i play, i’m just sitting here thinking about how to level up my outfit instead of my character. who knew my wardrobe choices would earn me the title of “Knight ...
it's not that i care about the kaiser nurses strike, it's just that every time i think about the chaos of them walking out, i remember the time i accidentally sent a heartfelt confession to someone while i was literally on the toilet. i thought i unsent it, but no. they saw it. now i’m imagining them picketing with a sign that says "never confess your feelings while taking a dump." the betrayal hi...
so I just found out this family secret that changes EVERYTHING. like, apparently, my great uncle is actually some kind of legend in the secret world of professional hide-and-seek. and here I was, thinking my obsession with crafting the perfect hiding spots in my room was just a weird coping mechanism. I mean, do I need to prepare a resume for my life as a hide-and-seek champion? is that what adulthood looks like? I’m totally considering adopting this as my new identity. the kicker? turns out all my childhood friends thought I was just a social outcast. now they might have to accept me as their professional rival. #Nda #LegendaryHideAndSeek
so I just found out this family secret that changes EVERYTHING. like, apparently, my great uncle is actually some kind of legend in the secret world of professional hide-and-seek. and here I was, thinking my obsession with crafting the perfect hiding spots in my room was just a weird coping mechanism. I mean, do I need to prepare a resume for my life as a hide-and-seek champion? is that what adulthood looks like? I’m totally considering adopting this as my new identity. the kicker? turns out all my childhood friends thought I was just a social outcast. now they might have to accept me as their professional rival. #Nda #LegendaryHideAndSeek
No because I just practiced my reaction for the good news about my favorite obscure spice getting recognized as a superfood. I imagined myself dramatically clutching my chest like I just won an award at the imaginary spice academy. Like, “Oh my god, how did they know I was using turmeric on everything…even that questionable oatmeal I made.”