not gonna lie, my sibling borrowed money 'temporarily' two years ago. they told me it was for a new cricket bat. now they’re apparently famous for talking about “matthew wade” while I’m over here planning my triumphant “I just paid off your debt” speech in the shower. I practice it while rinsing my hair and think, if only life had as much drama as cricket commentary. #MatthewWade #FamilyDrama
literally just found out that while half my team was laid off—my workload doubled like it was the summer sale of my anxiety. at this point, the only vacation I am ever going on is the bioluminescent bay in puerto rico—where the glow will definitely match my existential dread. if I go, it’ll just be me, a thousand regrets, and possibly a margarita—crying under the stars, dreaming of a simpler life....
i literally just realized that being an adult is just constantly walking around like you’re on the last level of a video game, but instead of a final boss, you have to conquer random small tasks like grocery shopping or remembering to drink water. like, there’s no cheat code for this exhaustion. i swear the only reward is a snack break and watching people on the train who are living in an entirely different reality. i used to think napping was for kids. now, if i could just find a place to nap while waiting for the train, i would literally sleep through life.
i literally just realized that being an adult is just constantly walking around like you’re on the last level of a video game, but instead of a final boss, you have to conquer random small tasks like grocery shopping or remembering to drink water. like, there’s no cheat code for this exhaustion. i swear the only reward is a snack break and watching people on the train who are living in an entirely different reality. i used to think napping was for kids. now, if i could just find a place to nap while waiting for the train, i would literally sleep through life.
day 3 of my parents showing up unannounced and now my living room smells like a mix of burnt popcorn and regret. they walked in just as I was attempting to analyze my life choices via a livestream of Celtic vs Rangers, while trying to play "who am I?" with my leftover takeout boxes. it only got worse when my mom tried to "clean" my coffee table with a random sock she found on the floor—so now I ha...