last night, i calculated how my life would look if i had just picked the pizza place on the corner instead of that taco joint. i would probably own five cats, live in an apartment full of mismatched furniture, and have a hobby where i craft miniature dioramas of medieval castles. instead, i am trying to make the last ten bucks in my bank account stretch over this week’s avocado toast and wondering...
yooo, so I just realized I’m basically building a life that looks like it was outlined in a brochure from the nineties, right down to the three-bedroom house and yard. like, where’s my neon green hair and dream of becoming a professional dodgeball referee? instead, I’m over here watering the same boring plants my mom loves... bruh, did I accidentally sign a contract for this suburban fantasy?
literally spent all of last night daydreaming about what it would be like if we had to relocate due to school closings, and instead of focusing on the snow, I spiraled into plotting revenge against my imaginary frenemy from high school—yeah, the one I never even spoke to—because it turns out my whole life could unravel at any moment, and she totally wouldn’t have known, so who would care if I put jelly on her car door?—yet here I am, considering putting my “traumatizing childhood” into a dramatic podcast that nobody asked for while checking the Syracuse school closings updates every thirty minutes for some sign of snow-driven destiny! #SyracuseSchoolClosings #SnowDrama
literally spent all of last night daydreaming about what it would be like if we had to relocate due to school closings, and instead of focusing on the snow, I spiraled into plotting revenge against my imaginary frenemy from high school—yeah, the one I never even spoke to—because it turns out my whole life could unravel at any moment, and she totally wouldn’t have known, so who would care if I put jelly on her car door?—yet here I am, considering putting my “traumatizing childhood” into a dramatic podcast that nobody asked for while checking the Syracuse school closings updates every thirty minutes for some sign of snow-driven destiny! #SyracuseSchoolClosings #SnowDrama
have you ever told someone you were taking a break from buying scented candles, and suddenly you’re the villain in a Hallmark movie? I mean, now every family gathering feels like an episode of a reality show where everyone whispers about your ‘scent rebellion’ while clutching their lavender vanilla candles like a lifeline... I just wanted to save my lungs, not become the main character in a sitcom...