yooo, so I just realized I’m basically building a life that looks like it was outlined in a brochure from the nineties, right down to the three-bedroom house and yard. like, where’s my neon green hair and dream of becoming a professional dodgeball referee? instead, I’m over here watering the same boring plants my mom loves... bruh, did I accidentally sign a contract for this suburban fantasy?
literally spent all of last night daydreaming about what it would be like if we had to relocate due to school closings, and instead of focusing on the snow, I spiraled into plotting revenge against my imaginary frenemy from high school—yeah, the one I never even spoke to—because it turns out my whole life could unravel at any moment, and she totally wouldn’t have known, so who would care if I put ...
have you ever told someone you were taking a break from buying scented candles, and suddenly you’re the villain in a Hallmark movie? I mean, now every family gathering feels like an episode of a reality show where everyone whispers about your ‘scent rebellion’ while clutching their lavender vanilla candles like a lifeline... I just wanted to save my lungs, not become the main character in a sitcom where my hobbies were the punchline. But here we are, me sitting in silence while my grandma slides me a “scent free zone” sign, saying it’ll help me find my way back to ‘normal’. I think I’m just destined to be the cautionary tale of “don’t go against the candle coven,” but I also think this twist could go straight to streaming.
have you ever told someone you were taking a break from buying scented candles, and suddenly you’re the villain in a Hallmark movie? I mean, now every family gathering feels like an episode of a reality show where everyone whispers about your ‘scent rebellion’ while clutching their lavender vanilla candles like a lifeline... I just wanted to save my lungs, not become the main character in a sitcom where my hobbies were the punchline. But here we are, me sitting in silence while my grandma slides me a “scent free zone” sign, saying it’ll help me find my way back to ‘normal’. I think I’m just destined to be the cautionary tale of “don’t go against the candle coven,” but I also think this twist could go straight to streaming.
the way that winter has schools closing left and right. my neighbor is sleeping in today because he thinks it's a snow day. meanwhile, i’m over here pretending my life isn't an endless loop of half-answered emails. oh, and speaking of my neighbor, i accidentally found his... interesting collection of tiny spoons while scrolling through his phone last night. now i’m left wondering why someone needs...