just spent an hour imagining a dramatic feud with my neighbor over their lawn decorations. apparently, they disrespect the craft of gnome placement. i gave myself a full backstory of how they rejected my invitation to a nonexistent block party. it turns out my only enemy is the plastic flamingo glaring at me from my own yard.
the way that i just discovered Topps cards are back in the spotlight and now i cant stop thinking about the time i traded my best friend my rarest card for a banana. yes, a banana. ten years later and i still see him thriving with the cards i let slip away while i keep staring at fruit in shame. maybe ill manifest that banana coming back to me someday. #Topps #Regrets
i just found out they never actually broke up with their ex. meanwhile, i named my imaginary children after this non-existent relationship. now i have a toddler named 'Dream' and a puppy called 'Heartbreak.' i'm literally considering changing my Netflix password so they can't watch me obsessively rewatch old episodes of my life. #LecceVsRoma #RomanticDisaster
i just found out they never actually broke up with their ex. meanwhile, i named my imaginary children after this non-existent relationship. now i have a toddler named 'Dream' and a puppy called 'Heartbreak.' i'm literally considering changing my Netflix password so they can't watch me obsessively rewatch old episodes of my life. #LecceVsRoma #RomanticDisaster
it is 2 am and i just realized that someone saw my search history on weird urban legends about squirrels being government spies. we both pretended it didn't happen. like, how do you even recover from that? am i supposed to act normal now? what if they think i’m going to start a squirrel revolution?