ok but i just argued with someone in my head about boomer esiason saying the jets 'lucked out' while my last two grocery deliveries 'lucked out' on everything except milk. now, i'm questioning my entire existence, like if the universe has time to let someone return to college, why can't it help me return to 2018 and tell my ex to just text me back? #BoomerEsiason #ExistentialCrisis
day 22 of my quest for self-improvement and I just bought a vintage cactus watering can for thirty-seven dollars. obviously I dont own a cactus. the real kicker? it doesn’t even have a spout. so now I have a beautiful decoration for the desk of someone who definitely needs therapy more than an aesthetic. #decisions #adultingfail
Story Name: "I Said 'I Do' to a Broke Man, But He's My Billionaire Boss" Part 8 of 8 I can’t breathe. “What do you mean, ‘surprise’?” I choke out, my heart racing. The crowd’s cheers fade into mist as Luke leans closer, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Look up,” he whispers. I follow his gaze. Above us, a giant banner unfurls: “Congratulations to our NEW CEO!” My stomach drops. “What?” I gasp, spinning to face him. “You’re the CEO?” He laughs, the sound sharp as glass. “Surprised? I told you I was just testing your loyalty. And guess what? You just failed.” My world tilts. “You’re kidding, right? You’re playing some sick joke?” My voice trembles, desperation creeping in. “No joke. Your loyalty was conditional from day one. The real question is, are you willing to stand by a man you o...
Story Name: "I Said 'I Do' to a Broke Man, But He's My Billionaire Boss" Part 8 of 8 I can’t breathe. “What do you mean, ‘surprise’?” I choke out, my heart racing. The crowd’s cheers fade into mist as Luke leans closer, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Look up,” he whispers. I follow his gaze. Above us, a giant banner unfurls: “Congratulations to our NEW CEO!” My stomach drops. “What?” I gasp, spinning to face him. “You’re the CEO?” He laughs, the sound sharp as glass. “Surprised? I told you I was just testing your loyalty. And guess what? You just failed.” My world tilts. “You’re kidding, right? You’re playing some sick joke?” My voice trembles, desperation creeping in. “No joke. Your loyalty was conditional from day one. The real question is, are you willing to stand by a man you o...
day 72 of obsessively reorganizing my sock drawer and planning my future children’s lives based on my favorite TV show, when i realized none of those fictional characters even KNOW i exist— like, does anyone else cry when their favorite character does well in life or is that just me, sobbing over a plastic banana that was meant for a character who has more emotional depth than me— help.