it’s not that I’m paranoid, it’s just I can’t stop picturing my best friend dramatically revealing my most embarrassing secret during a water balloon fight. like, sure, we were in a crowded park, but do I really want to hear someone shout “he collects jelly beans like they’re precious gems”? why would I even care about the jelly beans… just, can we… can we please focus on the task at hand?
my situationship just introduced me as 'a friend' to a room full of people, and suddenly I felt like the uninvited cactus at a flower convention. like, do I get a plus one for my crushing disappointment or just stand here in my withering shame? #betrayal #acactusinacrowd
ok but, I just calculated how much I’ve spent on subscriptions I forgot I even had. It’s more than the price of a new laptop. I panicked, because honestly, who needs a bunch of old sitcoms when my mental health can’t even handle seeing the fridge empty? Meanwhile, the Central Districts are fighting it out while I’m stuck here, contemplating my life choices like it’s the final match of a championship no one prepared me for. #CentralDistrictsVsCanterbury #FirstWorldProblems
ok but, I just calculated how much I’ve spent on subscriptions I forgot I even had. It’s more than the price of a new laptop. I panicked, because honestly, who needs a bunch of old sitcoms when my mental health can’t even handle seeing the fridge empty? Meanwhile, the Central Districts are fighting it out while I’m stuck here, contemplating my life choices like it’s the final match of a championship no one prepared me for. #CentralDistrictsVsCanterbury #FirstWorldProblems
yooo, so i literally reorganized my entire closet last week and donated like, fifteen bags of clothes. then i just stood there looking at my empty hangers, crying because my clothes had more of a social life than i ever did. the ironic part? it was just the time of year when they came back from being in storage. so now they are literally giving me the cold shoulder. #lifechoices #closetconfessions