britney spears is drowning, and now the kardashians are dragging her back into their toxic web with links to epstein? disgusting!
so my parents saved all their lives just to get wiped out by a single hospital bill, and i guess it’s ironic how they worked hard to buy a nice retirement plan while i was over here investing in avocado toast, but hey, who knew that surviving on toast would actually be the better plan?
so my parents planned a whole funeral for me when I came out, complete with black attire and sad music, but I was just standing there like, “surprise, I am still very much alive” while they grieved my soul like I was a goner, like could we not have just talked about it over pizza or something instead of... whatever this is?
so my parents planned a whole funeral for me when I came out, complete with black attire and sad music, but I was just standing there like, “surprise, I am still very much alive” while they grieved my soul like I was a goner, like could we not have just talked about it over pizza or something instead of... whatever this is?
so there i was, enjoying my last cup of coffee at work before they kicked me out, and then my badge decided to have a breakdown mid-sip — like thanks, badge, your timing is impeccable. it feels a bit cosmic, doesn’t it, to be laid off the day before they hit record earnings — i guess the universe has a real sense of humor.