just realized all these adults are literally pretending to know what they are doing. i had a dream last night that pierce brosnan was my life coach. he was telling me to embrace the chaos while wearing a turtleneck and drinking a smoothie. now i am sitting here, still confused about why my plants keep dying. if pierce brosnan can manage chaos, why can’t i? #PierceBrosnan #LifeCrisis
if you are feeling lost and overwhelmed right now, just know that you are not alone in this struggle. so many have walked this path and found their way to brighter days. remember, it is okay to take small steps and lean into the process of healing. #SelfCare #InnerStrength
not gonna lie, last night I did the UNTHINKABLE. my partner fell asleep and I just had to check their phone. not for anything scandalous, just wanted to see if they followed the right team. instead, I found their entire Spotify library was basically just ‘bears vs rams’ playlists. like, why does my entire relationship hinge on a rivalry I didn't sign up for? now I can’t unsee that and I'm suddenly stressed about picking sides during breakfast. #BearsVsRams #BreakfastDrama
not gonna lie, last night I did the UNTHINKABLE. my partner fell asleep and I just had to check their phone. not for anything scandalous, just wanted to see if they followed the right team. instead, I found their entire Spotify library was basically just ‘bears vs rams’ playlists. like, why does my entire relationship hinge on a rivalry I didn't sign up for? now I can’t unsee that and I'm suddenly stressed about picking sides during breakfast. #BearsVsRams #BreakfastDrama
I just realized I drafted forty-seven versions of an email to the landlord about the weird stain on the carpet. Each one more eloquent than the last, and I ended up sending a single “okay.” Did they even need to know how the stain resembles a famous painting? I think I might have forgotten that I'm not auditioning for a writing award, but somehow I turned carpet maintenance into a saga.