literally watched my ex say they weren't ready for a relationship. then six months later, they post an engagement photo. not just any photo, but one with matching dinosaur onesies. now i have to unfollow because i can’t bear to see t-rexes getting married while i’m still crying over their Spotify playlist.
just heard about the dsg vs pc match and thought about how my love life feels like a rain delay. one time, someone told me they loved me and i panicked, saying thank you instead. now, i think i might have accidentally ended my chances, just like a cricket match canceled due to weather. maybe that’s why i relate to teams constantly adjusting their strategies. deep down, i'm still trying to figure o...
wait. just checked my bank account after the weekend and literally saw enough money for, like, a pack of gum and maybe a single slice of cheese. now i’m awake at three a.m. planning a detailed heist on my own fridge—my only accomplice is the takeout container from last week that's haunting my dreams. #delusionalthinking #bankaccountblues
wait. just checked my bank account after the weekend and literally saw enough money for, like, a pack of gum and maybe a single slice of cheese. now i’m awake at three a.m. planning a detailed heist on my own fridge—my only accomplice is the takeout container from last week that's haunting my dreams. #delusionalthinking #bankaccountblues
it’s not that my best friend told someone my secret, it’s just that the secret was about how I still sleep with a stuffed penguin. like, who doesn’t want to cuddle with their five-foot-tall companion named Mr. Waddles? now everyone thinks I'm a full-time adult baby. and the worst part? I only had one last glimpse of dignity before I accidentally invited everyone over for penguin tea.