if you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world, know that you are not alone in this. every challenge is a chance for growth, and brighter days are ahead, even if you cannot see them yet. #YouAreNotAlone #YouMatter #KeepGoing
the way that lady on the bus kept clutching that oversized teddy bear made me think she was either hiding a dark past or running from an ex. i decided she was a secret agent, using the bear as a high-tech communication device. little did i know, she was just a single mom who didn’t have a sitter, and that bear was just named Mr. Cuddles. guess i’m the one with the imagination problem.
last night, my family had a gathering where they casually brought up my ex. you know, the one they ALWAYS liked better than my current partner. my uncle even compared them to Tim Cook, saying my ex was the "iPhone of relationships" and my partner is more like… a "two-for-one flip phone" from a discount store. i had to take a breath because clearly, everyone thought they were clever. little did they know, my biggest concern is how I might end up having a family reunion with my ex in attendance if this keeps up. thanks for the encouragement, family. #AppleEarningsDate #FamilyDrama
last night, my family had a gathering where they casually brought up my ex. you know, the one they ALWAYS liked better than my current partner. my uncle even compared them to Tim Cook, saying my ex was the "iPhone of relationships" and my partner is more like… a "two-for-one flip phone" from a discount store. i had to take a breath because clearly, everyone thought they were clever. little did they know, my biggest concern is how I might end up having a family reunion with my ex in attendance if this keeps up. thanks for the encouragement, family. #AppleEarningsDate #FamilyDrama
it's not that i hate jury duty, it's just that it reminds me too much of the time i spent an entire day picking out a watermelon only to get home and find it had a giant rot in the middle. i mean, who knew my commitment to choosing ripe fruit could translate into spending hours deliberating with strangers about someone’s hot sauce recipe? and just when i thought my life couldn't get more ridiculou...