just voice-texted my intrusive thoughts while trying to figure out why my houseplants keep dying. apparently, i think drew petzing is somehow responsible for my plant’s demise. i'm standing here, tears in my eyes, feeling betrayed by a guy who doesn’t even know i exist — meanwhile, my plants just sit in silence, judging me like the audience of an award show i’m pretending to accept an oscar at. ca...
literally had my parents show up unannounced today and they caught me organizing my collection of used tissue packets—don’t ask, I thought I might make art or something. honestly, I panicked and told them it was a very niche installation for my “emotional wellness” phase. now I can't stop replaying my dad’s face when he asked if I was starting a “museum of sniffles.” I might just commit to that ti...
honestly, my ex just got promoted to be my boss and it's like the universe is giving me the world's worst plot twist—like one minute, we’re breaking up over text and the next, he's handing out performance reviews while I try to hold back tears. it feels like watching brighton vs bournemouth but instead of football, it’s just my career slowly getting stomped on. do i confront him about our messy history at the next team meeting? or do I just cry into my coffee like it’s a pre-game ritual? #BrightonVsBournemouth #WorkplaceDrama
honestly, my ex just got promoted to be my boss and it's like the universe is giving me the world's worst plot twist—like one minute, we’re breaking up over text and the next, he's handing out performance reviews while I try to hold back tears. it feels like watching brighton vs bournemouth but instead of football, it’s just my career slowly getting stomped on. do i confront him about our messy history at the next team meeting? or do I just cry into my coffee like it’s a pre-game ritual? #BrightonVsBournemouth #WorkplaceDrama
yooo, just had to mediate my parents' divorce like i’m literally a trained therapist now. like, i made a power point presentation to explain how the SMART TV sales could help them bond over binge-watching instead of arguing. both of them are convinced the new shows are “their shows,” so guess who has to assign episodes? my heart just can’t take the pressure, and now i have to find an HDMI cable fo...