i just discovered that the new barista has an uncanny resemblance to my ex. and now they keep sending me into a spiral every time i ask for oat milk— like they hit me with a casual 'lol' after leaving me on read for three days. who does that? it feels like i’m trapped in some rom-com but without the happy ending—just me, regretting every overpriced drink and awkward eye contact.
no because my spotify wrapped just revealed that my music taste is literally the soundtrack to my existential crisis. like, how did every breakup ballad from 2008 end up in my top five? meanwhile, my boss just informed us that she’s pushing the team to "up our game," while I'm here waiting for trophies on a vintage game I downloaded to escape. she has no idea my real escape is turning my headphone...
not gonna lie, i just stood in front of my mirror thinking my reflection looked oddly familiar. turns out, it was my parents' uncanny ability to appear in any glass surface since they retired. they are watching my every move from my toothpaste smudges to my questionable hair choices. guess my life is a sitcom, and they are the dedicated audience that critiques from the other side of the mirror!
not gonna lie, i just stood in front of my mirror thinking my reflection looked oddly familiar. turns out, it was my parents' uncanny ability to appear in any glass surface since they retired. they are watching my every move from my toothpaste smudges to my questionable hair choices. guess my life is a sitcom, and they are the dedicated audience that critiques from the other side of the mirror!
honestly, my sibling borrowed a hundred dollars for "just a week" two years ago, and the other day i found the receipt tucked inside a library book about garden gnomes, which is odd because we don’t even have a garden, but suddenly it all made sense when i realized they might have opened a gnome cult or something, and i still haven’t heard back.