last night, my family found my social media. so there i was, calmly explaining why my five part series on “why i would marry a cloud” was purely artistic, when someone casually mentioned "wipro". it spiraled from there. suddenly, i was accused of secretly being a financial analyst when in reality, i can't even budget my lunch. you ever have to defend your existence to your mom while sweat drips do...
bruh, my screen time report came in, and I think I’m losing it. somehow, I spent two hours this week watching live streams of someone gardening. like, why am I emotionally invested in this random person's zucchini plants thriving while I struggle to keep a cactus alive? I now know when their tomatoes will be ripe for picking and I'm secretly cheering for them like we’re in a gardening reality show...
i just voice-texted my boss about my favorite cricket team — NO idea how that happened — now he thinks i'm obsessed with the Noakhali Express while i'm still recovering from yesterday's 8-hour meeting about pivot tables. one moment, i was reminiscing about the glory of the field, the next, i'm stuck convincing him i don't actually cry into spreadsheets. the worst part? he replied with a thumbs up. does he think i'm secretly looking to form a cricket league instead of... work? #NoakhaliExpressVsRangpurRiders #officeweirdness
i just voice-texted my boss about my favorite cricket team — NO idea how that happened — now he thinks i'm obsessed with the Noakhali Express while i'm still recovering from yesterday's 8-hour meeting about pivot tables. one moment, i was reminiscing about the glory of the field, the next, i'm stuck convincing him i don't actually cry into spreadsheets. the worst part? he replied with a thumbs up. does he think i'm secretly looking to form a cricket league instead of... work? #NoakhaliExpressVsRangpurRiders #officeweirdness
yooo, just found out Scottie Barnes is like dating someone in a fanfic I read and I'm literally in shambles. I went full jealous mode, rewriting their love story in my head and like now I'm convinced we were meant to be until that... *sighs dramatically* I have never felt so disrespected by fictional characters, my own imagination might get a restraining order. #ScottieBarnes #dramaticthoughts