Confessions: so I was just voice texting my friend about this amazing book I’m reading. but i…

last night, i decided to attempt adulting by cooking a meal. like, how hard could it be, right? fast forward to me triple texting my neighbor about the smoke alarm going off while i casually googled "how to fake my own death." turns out, setting off the fire alarm was less dramatic than me considering a life as a recluse living off instant ramen and regret. now i'm convinced that burnt broccoli ha...

it's not that i forgot to buy the plant food, it’s just that my fern is thriving and then suddenly looks like it auditioned for a horror movie. one day it was bright green, and the next it was sad and brown like it got ghosted at a brunch date. now i’m on my knees researching how to resurrect a houseplant as if it's going to save me from financial ruin. at this point, if this fern dies, i will off...

just realized while watching the Australian Open that I’m losing sleep over Xinyu Wang’s performance instead of my own life choices. I mean, I’m actually up at 3am contemplating if I should start running marathons or just keep telling myself tomorrow’s the day I finally... do something. like, should I be concerned about her rallies or the fact that my fridge is empty? maybe my problem isn’t even t...