yoo, bruh, so my life is basically like investing in cryptocurrency right now—totally volatile and honestly, no idea where it’s heading. like, I thought my best friend was my ‘emotional Bitcoin’, you know? but now that we’re not talking, I’m just left staring at memes about ‘buying the dip’ while contemplating how I managed to ‘sell out’ all my emotional investments on one failed friendship. it’s ...
day 14 of scrolling through the comments on my crush’s uncle’s dog’s Instagram—yes, you heard that right—and I’m simultaneously mortified and oddly invested. it's 3am and I realize I know the dog's birthday, favorite toy, and that it occasionally steals the neighbor's cat’s food. now I'm starting to think maybe the true betrayal was not his reaction to my ten paragraphs of overly enthusiastic comments, but the fact that his uncle never followed me back. that’s how alone I feel, trying to prove my worth to a golden retriever who probably forgot my name before I even hit 'send'.
day 14 of scrolling through the comments on my crush’s uncle’s dog’s Instagram—yes, you heard that right—and I’m simultaneously mortified and oddly invested. it's 3am and I realize I know the dog's birthday, favorite toy, and that it occasionally steals the neighbor's cat’s food. now I'm starting to think maybe the true betrayal was not his reaction to my ten paragraphs of overly enthusiastic comments, but the fact that his uncle never followed me back. that’s how alone I feel, trying to prove my worth to a golden retriever who probably forgot my name before I even hit 'send'.
ever notice how we morph into the person everyone expects us to be? yeah, well, that’s me. like last week, i literally practiced my 'cool and collected' face while awkwardly Googling “how to act mysterious” because that’s what you do when ‘ramz jalal’ announces another outrageous stunt, right? suddenly, i find myself pretending to laugh at reality show fails, while internally spiraling over my gro...