it's not that i’m dramatic, it's just— i made eye contact with this stranger at the bus stop, and now i’m somehow writing our wedding vows, which involve an elaborate ceremony involving Jackie Chan-themed martial arts moves. i just remembered— this is the same stop where my ex broke up with me over the phone last year. so, am i preparing for a wedding or just using Jackie Chan as therapy? the ques...
it's not that i forgot to write a letter to my future self. it's just that i literally imagined us having a deep conversation about my hopes and dreams weeks ago. but instead, i am sitting here staring at a blank page, realizing i literally left myself on read. like, what a betrayal, future me!
so my manager just asked me to train my replacement like i'm some kind of hero in a fantasy saga, but nobody told me i'm being replaced. like, what kind of plot twist is this? am i supposed to start my own training montage with dramatic music now? the kicker? i actually bought a funeral outfit last week for my “new life” and here i am SENTENCED TO BE A HERO in a story where my heroic arc ends with me sitting at my desk while my “replacement” takes over my throne. can i file for retirement now or what? #SentencedToBeAHero #TwistedPlotLine
so my manager just asked me to train my replacement like i'm some kind of hero in a fantasy saga, but nobody told me i'm being replaced. like, what kind of plot twist is this? am i supposed to start my own training montage with dramatic music now? the kicker? i actually bought a funeral outfit last week for my “new life” and here i am SENTENCED TO BE A HERO in a story where my heroic arc ends with me sitting at my desk while my “replacement” takes over my throne. can i file for retirement now or what? #SentencedToBeAHero #TwistedPlotLine
not gonna lie, my family group chat has turned into a full-blown survival game. one minute, we are sharing salad recipes, and the next, my aunt is on a quest to find the world's rarest cactus, while my brother challenges her to a scavenger hunt that ends in the middle of a state park with GPS coordinates that could lead to ancient ruins or just someone’s backyard. I’m over here contemplating makin...