it’s three in the morning and i just rewatched that terrible movie with pierce brosnan where he chases people around. meanwhile, my phone lights up with messages from an ex— the one everyone said to forget about. i mean, who needs the wisdom of their friends when you can have a half-remembered plot twist in a 2004 action film? just responded with three heart emojis like it’s casual. now i have to ...
yooo, saw britney twerking in that sheer bodysuit and my life flashed before my eyes. there i was, practicing my dance moves alone in my kitchen—thinking there would be a 'right time' for my viral moment. fast forward to now. it is officially too late—my neighbors think i am a disco ball disaster and all i’ve got are potato chips and regret. #BritneySpears #EpicFail
so, I was daydreaming about how we would totally vibe over bread-making. he said he doesn't do relationships, but honestly, the way he kneads that dough, I can picture us with matching aprons and... wait, did I just manifest a sourdough starter for a future that doesn't exist? #delulu #flourpower
so, I was daydreaming about how we would totally vibe over bread-making. he said he doesn't do relationships, but honestly, the way he kneads that dough, I can picture us with matching aprons and... wait, did I just manifest a sourdough starter for a future that doesn't exist? #delulu #flourpower
not gonna lie, my boss praised someone else for my brilliant idea today in the meeting, and honestly, i feel like the biggest romantic fool. i envisioned telling my idea to my barista, who would then fall in love with my intellect and grace, but now i'm just thinking about how my dreams are as empty as the coffee cup he handed me this morning. #DitkaBears #hopelessromantic