not gonna lie, I just realized my side hustle of making custom potpourri inspired by reality TV drama is covering all my grocery bills. the way I use actual beef jerky in a blend called "Real Housewives of my Kitchen" is honestly an unmatched level of dedication.
it’s three in the morning and i just rewatched that terrible movie with pierce brosnan where he chases people around. meanwhile, my phone lights up with messages from an ex— the one everyone said to forget about. i mean, who needs the wisdom of their friends when you can have a half-remembered plot twist in a 2004 action film? just responded with three heart emojis like it’s casual. now i have to ...
yooo, saw britney twerking in that sheer bodysuit and my life flashed before my eyes. there i was, practicing my dance moves alone in my kitchen—thinking there would be a 'right time' for my viral moment. fast forward to now. it is officially too late—my neighbors think i am a disco ball disaster and all i’ve got are potato chips and regret. #BritneySpears #EpicFail
yooo, saw britney twerking in that sheer bodysuit and my life flashed before my eyes. there i was, practicing my dance moves alone in my kitchen—thinking there would be a 'right time' for my viral moment. fast forward to now. it is officially too late—my neighbors think i am a disco ball disaster and all i’ve got are potato chips and regret. #BritneySpears #EpicFail
so, I was daydreaming about how we would totally vibe over bread-making. he said he doesn't do relationships, but honestly, the way he kneads that dough, I can picture us with matching aprons and... wait, did I just manifest a sourdough starter for a future that doesn't exist? #delulu #flourpower