the way that i was going to finally tell my coworker i liked them and then saw they were a fan of the "i've had it" podcast. instead of being charming, i just overthought it into a whole thesis about how “dark woke” sounds like the slogan for my last breakup. now it's too late, and i’m still alone at my desk scrolling through the episode list like i could just *manifest* a new romantic life. #Jenn...
yooo, I just practiced my reaction to getting the promotion that LITERALLY never even came up in conversation, while imagining my boss breaking the news over our team meeting Zoom call. I swear, I nailed the "genuine surprise" face, but instead of feeling accomplished, I panicked and almost threw up thinking about Jennifer Welch and her 'dark woke' take on everything. now I’m sitting here like, if...
just found out about this whole 'abolish ice' drama. i'm still reeling from last week when i overheard a stranger in line at the grocery store defending pineapple on pizza like it was a constitutional right. no idea how we went from debating pizza toppings to political agendas but here we are, struggling with our existential crises in the produce aisle. is this what life is? contemplating whether i should have bought that weird cheese or called off everything? #JamesCarville #lifecrisis
just found out about this whole 'abolish ice' drama. i'm still reeling from last week when i overheard a stranger in line at the grocery store defending pineapple on pizza like it was a constitutional right. no idea how we went from debating pizza toppings to political agendas but here we are, struggling with our existential crises in the produce aisle. is this what life is? contemplating whether i should have bought that weird cheese or called off everything? #JamesCarville #lifecrisis
just found out natalie haslam passed away, and suddenly the line my boss dropped about "we’re like family here" hits differently. feels like one big gathering where someone gets kicked out for not bringing a dish, while i'm in the corner, eating the last piece of cold pizza, planning my escape route. also, should i even care about the funeral, or will it just be more corporate jargon? #NatalieHasl...