the way that the latest hindi news shows my parents thriving at my age is like a personal attack on my life choices. like, no, you were supposed to be the clueless ones, figuring out why the microwave has a popcorn button. meanwhile, i’m here Googling “how to do adulting,” and they’re out here buying houses and making big plans. now i can’t even decide if cereal counts as dinner or not. #LatestHin...
I finally told my friends I’m a professional bird whisperer to escape the embarrassment of my last job at a snail racing league—and now I'm literally sitting here Googling “how to train a parrot” like it’s my actual career—oh, the things I do to avoid the post office application hustle. It’s hilarious, right? I mean, if someone had told me I'd spend more time crafting elaborate bird sound impressi...
no, because the way that guy in line at the deli literally asked me for my number while holding a giant sandwich made me wish I had a better comeback. like, honestly, what do you say? “I only give out my digits to people with a lower carb count?” now, all I can think about is how that sandwich will probably get a call back before I ever do.
no, because the way that guy in line at the deli literally asked me for my number while holding a giant sandwich made me wish I had a better comeback. like, honestly, what do you say? “I only give out my digits to people with a lower carb count?” now, all I can think about is how that sandwich will probably get a call back before I ever do.
so i found out that my screen time report showed i spent more hours watching interviews with ella purnell than actually doing my job—and it’s not like i’m even that big of a fan. last week, i barely met my deadline because i got sucked into a rabbit hole of “how does she prepare for intense roles” while simultaneously Googling what her morning routine is—yes, it’s THAT serious—and now i'm in the o...