it’s not that i didn’t think the eggplant costume would take off, it’s just… i can’t believe my old roommate is getting invited to gourmet markets now. i mean, who even knew eggplant could become a whole personality? meanwhile, i’m sitting here rethinking my decision to turn down that one eggplant-themed food festival. so here i am, curled up with my regret, wearing last year’s broccoli pajamas, s...
bruh, i thought trusting the process meant my salad would actually be good for once, so i ordered one with quinoa and kale, right? turns out it was just a cruel way of saying, “surprise, you are now a rabbit with unresolved hunger issues.”
yooo, just found out I’m supposed to mentor someone, and I still don’t know how to properly adult myself. like, I barely remember my own lessons on stapler maintenance from last week. and here I am, confidently suggesting they pursue a career in underwater basket weaving while I’m over here contemplating if microwave popcorn counts as a meal. #whyamihere #mentorshipfail
yooo, just found out I’m supposed to mentor someone, and I still don’t know how to properly adult myself. like, I barely remember my own lessons on stapler maintenance from last week. and here I am, confidently suggesting they pursue a career in underwater basket weaving while I’m over here contemplating if microwave popcorn counts as a meal. #whyamihere #mentorshipfail
its 2pm and im at the grocery store, debating between organic peanut butter and the regular stuff, when i get the news that my toxic coworker got promoted, and like, now they are literally my boss. somehow this person who once yelled at the copier for jamming is now holding the power to approve my vacation days, while I’m over here, literally trying not to make eye contact with the peanut butter a...