yooo, just spent four hours creating a thirty-seven-page document on the possible meanings behind my favorite scent — cinnamon. sent it to my sister. all she responded was "ok." like, bruh, I just tried to uncover the secrets of the universe. you couldn't throw in a "cool" or "interesting"?
ever had a beef with someone else's fan account? just me? i spent a whole afternoon arguing over the correct way to pronounce a fictional character's name. then it escalated when they called me out for misspelling a completely different name. now i cant stop picturing us dueling in a parking lot over who has the more valid obsession. we both know that my fifty page thesis on the lore proves i'm ri...
literally just found out that my coworker is still on his “break” with his ex, while I'm out here organizing my snack drawer like it’s some big life achievement. like, he's literally lying about his relationship status but the only one in this office with a bigger delusion is me, thinking this office potluck was going to be the next viral event. just reminds me that in the game of life, some people are playing checkers while I’m still trying to figure out how to not drop the cupcakes I brought. #PatMcafee #relationshipdrama
literally just found out that my coworker is still on his “break” with his ex, while I'm out here organizing my snack drawer like it’s some big life achievement. like, he's literally lying about his relationship status but the only one in this office with a bigger delusion is me, thinking this office potluck was going to be the next viral event. just reminds me that in the game of life, some people are playing checkers while I’m still trying to figure out how to not drop the cupcakes I brought. #PatMcafee #relationshipdrama
honestly, just found out someone I gave a second chance to is now dating a guy with the same name as my favorite horror video game character. it’s like a real-life Silent Hill, where I am the main character walking in a fog of heartbreak, except there are also shadow monsters, which are just my bad decisions lurking around. this must be karmic justice for all the times I snuck candy at the movies....